Does the waiter know how you like your steak, and more about your love life than you do yourself? You are stuck in a boring-dates syndrome! Or perhaps you are conducting a psychological experiment on the people you date, and trying to keep the environment constant... It is at least good your haven't just given up on trying yet! Perhaps this is not quite you, but you do feel bored with your dating life, or you stopped dating all together. Generally people do stop dating after being in a relationship for a while, there is no reason to, however it tends to happenbecause people end up doing the same things over and over again which ends up being more boring than just staying at home. Here are a few basic rules to keep dating interesting: Stick to the season
Like you should eat in season to save money you should date in season to have fun. Don't insist on walking around too much outside when the frost is permanently attached to anything you touch. Except if you have skates on your feet! Be active but do what you like. Dating is a great way to share your hobbies with someone else. Try to get them excited to try it, even if they suck at it. Make sure you show some compassion for a mate who flies screaming down a slope on a snowboard for you while you look all put together. Share an interest
This is a tricky thing that usually becomes an actual problem in relationships and can just be plain helpful as a date idea: include your date in your life. If you don't want them to be part of it, then why bother to date them? Instead of just watching sports on TV and having a pissed off girlfriend take her to an actual game. She is much more likely to have fun with you than watch you have fun on your own! Girls can get their couch potato moving by taking them to the gym. This goes for all interests, try to share them but do not force them on someone if they really do not like what they see. Taking a guy to a knitting club might just not be a thing to do! If you get desperate sit down with the other person and brainstorm on what you enjoy; if something brought you together it means you must have something in common from which you can find things to enjoy together. It is important not to force interests upon a person if they try it and really decide not to like it; it is just as important to share things in a relationship as to have separate lives on the side. This is what will give you something to talk about on your dates! If you stop seeing your friends, stop scuba diving because your partner is afraid of water and stop doing the things you love, you will end up in a boring relationship with silences on both ends of the table. This is the beginning of the end and before you know it you are in the singles dating scene again starting the process all over. So finding a balance between shared interests and things you do alone early on is very important. Note however that just because you share all interests you are not doomed to fail; even if you are both psyched about golf, you can still go play just with friends. So don't be too paranoid about finding an "interests balance", rather if you continue dating the person try to get a balance in the relationship itself. The key thing is to get out of the house and out of the restaurant. Movies also do not count as a real date because you are actually not interacting with the person. You could have watched the movie alone holding a big pillow and it would make little difference. Dates that will make you interact with the other person and share both your interests will not only teach you more about them, but also show how compatible you actually are. Needless to say this avoids great boredom later down the road! |
