Im bored.

The two little words that strike dread in the hearts of parents everywhere. Upon hearing the words Im bored, many parents seem to feel a need to get busy. They become frenetic entertainers. moving quickly through their bag of tricks to find the idea or activity that will put an end to that dreaded condition called boredom.

Why?

Why are kids bored and why do so many parents feel that its their job to fix it?

If every time the kiddos tell us they are bored we respond like a cruise ship activities director, what are we teaching them? The unspoken message may be something we do not intend such as:

1) You are entitled to be passively entertained.

2) Your uncomfortable feelings are very important and should be avoided at all costs.

3) Someone outside of you is responsible for your feelings.

But what happens when Mom or Dad is not there to entertain them? Then what? When have they had the opportunity to develop the skills they need to constructively manage boredom all on their own?

Lets face it, theres always something to do. Not all of those somethings are as appealing as going to the arcade or reading a story with Dad or Mom.

If youve been in the habit of responding to every whine with a bigger, better, more interesting activity, its going to take you some time to turn things around.

The next time one of the kids comes to you because theyre bored, why not acknowledge the feeling without trying to fix it for them. Encourage them to solve that problem for themselves. You might be pleasantly surprised.

If not, you can always offer them a dip into the family job jar as a way to find a constructive activity. Its amazing just how often the possibility of coming face to face with dust the living room can spark creativity and enthusiasm!

Andrea Patten

Throughout her life, Andrea Patten has distinguished herself as a creative problem-solver. She particularly enjoys finding practical commonalities between apparently 'dissimilar' services, ideas or methods, making them all stronger in the process. In her career as a licensed addictions counselor she found a niche in program development helping organizations bring such innovations as bilingual programming, family treatment and networking for comprehensive client care.

When her son was young, she took a break from human services and studied marketing in one of her father's companies. There she discovered more similarities. "Whether it's a product, a service or a message it needs to be presented in a way that it will serve its intended audience."

A few years later, Andrea was probably as surprised as anyone to find herself once again serving families with substance abuse issues. Hired to assist a child protection organization improve interventions for kids at risk due to parental substance abuse, she became part of a team that provided home-based services to families,and developed training to enhance social workers' knowledge of addiction and addiction counselors' ability to work with family violence issues. She provided leadership, training and support for a network of "healthy-living" foster homes. She ultimately became the director of an agency where she had the opportunity to improve services to people of all ages suffering the effects of family violence.

"Teaming with my father to write 'What Kids Need...' was a tremendous growth opportunity for me. It took me out of a familiar role and let me try to reach families in an entirely new manner. My favorite part of direct service work was always helping people to identify and connect with the well of optimism and strength inside of them. I think that this book can provide hope to families facing a wide variety of struggles."