Walls are built to protect us from the outside elements, but in our relationships with others walls may serve a different purpose. We build walls of different behaviors to protect us from one another. I know that betrayal, bitterness and backbiting are very harsh sounding words but most of us have either been on the giving end or receiving end of at least one of these words at one time or another. One of my favorite books is Betrayals Baby by author P. Bunny Wilson. Wilson says that betrayal has a baby and names her bitterness. Wilson states, Bitterness comes into the world holding a clock in her hand that is set to the exact day, hour and minute of betrayal. That clock is placed over the fireplace of our hearts, on a dusty mantelpiece filled with other clocks. The clocks are ticking but the hands are frozen. With each new betrayal we feel, an additional clock joins the collection. With every clock comes a commitment of protection that we hope will keep us from experiencing the same kind of pain and disappointment again. WOW! How accurate a picture she has painted for us! Many of us have tons of clocks on our mantelpieces. What are some types of betrayal? Wounding Well, for many of us there is wounding. We have been wounded by our past. We have been betrayed by people who were supposed to love usphysical abuse, emotional abuse, and mental abuse. Weve been wounded by words or wounded because we never got to do what we wanted to do with our lives. Maybe because we were sacrificing for our siblings, or spouses or even our own children. Or maybe we were told we werent smart enough, not pretty enough, not sophisticated enoughwe were wounded, we felt betrayed.and betrayal had a baby.. Desertion Maybe we have felt deserted by friends who said theyd be there for usbut once they became successful and moved into a higher tax bracketor after we have helped them in their time of needthey have deserted us ...we felt betrayed and now betrayal had her baby Rejection Some of us have been rejected by someone after we have given them our love, our devotion? Weve sacrificed our needs and our wants to make sure they were taken care ofwe gave them the best years of our life - we helped put them through schoolwe supported them while they climbed the ladder of successnow we have been rejectedturned away...we were betrayed...and now betrayal had a baby Deception Oh, yes, how many times have we been deceived? We thought the person was on the up and up! Looked like the real thing, walked like the real thing, and boy, did they talk like the real thingonly to reveal their true colors and prove to be counterfeit! We believed them when they said they wouldnt tell anybodyor when they said they got our back - but when push came to shove all our business was out on the street and we were left to pick up the pieces by ourselves. We were betrayed...and now betrayal had a baby Betrayal sits in your spirit, begins to be nurtured by your pain, by your frustrationit grows and growsyou bear the labor painsyou cry, why cant I get over it, why cant I forgive, why cant I find joy? Because you have held betrayal so close to your heart...on the mantelpieceyour clock is ticking awayit becomes a part of you and nine days, nine months, nine yearshowever long it takesbetrayal gives birth to its baby...bitterness.. Next time, well examine how easy it is for us to build walls of bitterness and backbiting and what we can do to make sure that the walls will come crumbling down! 2005 Candie A. Price |
