Were you ever grounded or on restrictions as a kid?

Yeah, me too.

Consider with me what it would be like if we had never gotten off restrictions and we were still living that way as an adult.

While it may sound silly, we live in this way all the time.

Common adult restrictions

Grown up adult restrictions tend to fall into the following categories:

• I can't

• I shouldn't

• I'm only

• I don't have

• I have

• I'm too

• They said

I you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, only our parents could put us on restriction and take us off.

As adults, we can take ourselves off restrictions in three steps.

Step 1 - Question the restriction

So many times we just believe something without questioning it at all. Here are some questions to ask:

• Does this make sense?
• Does this fit it my life?
• Does this help me meet my goals?
• Does this help me feel and act the way I want?

  If you cannot get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.

  Step 2 - Make fun of the restriction

  Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? You need to be able to laugh at your own self imposed limitations. Being able to laugh at yourself is a great way to dismantle a limiting belief or restriction.

  Step 3 - Replace it with an ability

  Here is a general rule about changing restrictions:

  "Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you."

  Take for example the following restriction:

  "I can't ask for what I want."

  After you have questioned and made fun of it, simply replace it with:

  "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."

  See the difference?

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com