You know that youve settled for the consolation prize when you achieve all of your goals and they dont make you happy. One day I was sitting in a plush hotel in Auckland. I had just completed a successful tour of speaking engagements and seminars and I had written two very successful books yet all I could think about was how far removed my life was from my original plans.

The worst thing about that time in my life was that I didnt know what I wanted. It was only later as I formalised and worked through the Ten Steps, which is a life coaching process I teach that I realised that we always know what we want?only sometimes our dreams get buried beneath a mountain of hurt feelings and disappointments. Rather than face another disappointment or more pain, we delude ourselves into thinking that we dont know what we want. I was no exception.

As I worked at transforming my life I gave up a successful business to start another which was a financial disaster. For a period of time after that I kept making one mistake after another, losing more money and confidence in the process. While on the outside things appeared bleak, this time in my life motivated me to do the work that I do today.

Life often presents our greatest opportunities under the guise of problems and I was aware that Id created my success before and I knew I could do it again. However, this time I decided I wanted a formula, a step-by-step process that I could use to create what I want, so that I wouldnt keep making the same mistakes.

As I experimented with and lived the Ten Steps my life began to flow and change for the better. I experienced synchronicity where the right people and the right opportunities seem to appear out of the blue?the reality is that we attract them when we are congruent with our thoughts, words and actions. Over the next twelve months I achieved more personal goals than I had in the previous five years, I now wanted to help others who were lost and confused as I had been.

The foundation of the Ten Step process is living your life's purpose. Many think of their lifes purpose as something they want to achieve, some people say, I want to help others or, I want to teach. These are very valid goals, but they are only one part of your lifes purpose. Your goals are not you. Your purpose is being the person you choose to be, you demonstrate this choice through your actions on a daily basis. Who you choose to be is the code of honour that you choose to live by.

Knowing and living according to your being values has a twofold benefit. Firstly by making a commitment to demonstrate your being values on a daily basis you have a very clear code of ethics and standards to live by, this makes it easier for you respond positively to the ups and downs of daily living. Secondly, by choosing to act on these values you break the pattern of reacting, and this is how you change old beliefs and create new beliefs about yourself.

Let me give you an example of how this works. If a person cuts you off just as you are about to drive into a parking spot, think about how you want to act. If you reacted you might be tempted to make a rude gesture or give them a black look?you could let another persons actions spoil your day. Or, you can act like the person you choose to be and look upon this incident as an opportunity for you to demonstrate being kind and generous. Over time youll feel so good about yourself.

When you react you give your power away. Life coaching is about assisting you to break this pattern. A good coach supports you in gaining clarity and making whatever changes are necessary so that you too can create a life you love.

When you change your perception of the world, the world in turn changes its perception of you,then anything is possible.